What happens when someone you love hurts you? What happens when someone loves you? What happens when you’re confused with your own feelings? Lastly, what happens when the person who hurts you, loves you?

You woke up to find the other side of the bed empty, with no one. You sighed, it is a daily routine. You were always alone, although you are married. Well, forced marriage. You began to tidy up the bed. You went out to the living room, no notes on the table or anything. You showered and went out to have your breakfast. You were always bored stiff at home, so you decided to shop around. When you reached home, you were greeted by a question “where have you been all day?” Your husband, Zack, asked. “I… I went out to shop around.” You meekly replied. “Whatever, it’s none of my business anyway.” He headed for the door, “where are you going?” You asked. “Who are you to ask me?” He retorted and slammed the door hard enough for you to flinch.

You slump onto the couch and tried hard not to cry. He had not showed you any concern, at all. Always those mean words that hurt you like a dagger pierced through your heart. You were tired from all these but what can you do? You love him, too much to stop loving. After so much brooding, you did your daily stuffs and headed to bed. Every day, Zack would come home late and leave early in the morning. Sometimes you wonder, was it because of you? Does he detest you so much? There is no love in this marriage, not really. Only one sided love from you. No matter how bad or mean he treated you, you didn’t give up because you believed that he’ll feel your love, one day.

One day you were out for grocery shopping. You were listening to the radio with your earpiece, blasting the volume. Heading for the road, you didn’t hear a car horning. Before you knew it, you were unconscious. Waking up with a hint of dizziness, you groaned. “Hey you’re awake! I’m going to call for the doctor.” A guy wearing a cap said and rushed outside of the room. The doctor said that you’re to stay under observation for 2 days. “You are…?” You asked the guy with the cap. “Oh, I’m John. I’m the driver who almost knocked you down.” He said with his head looking down. “I’m Susan. I guessed it’s my fault for not paying attention to the road.” You smiled a little. “Erm, do you need me to contact your family members?” He asked and you immediately said no. “I… I don’t want to worry them.” You said meekly. He just nodded, not pressing any further.

Zack was welcome by an empty house. “Susan.” He called out but no one answered. He began to call you but the ringtone was heard in the bedroom. He had no ways to find you and he’s getting worried. “Why am I getting so anxious for her? If she doesn’t want to come home, don’t then.” He said to himself and proceeds to bed.

These 2 days, John had been staying by your side and also both of you had become closer. You were packing your stuff as you were discharged from the hospital; John came in and helped you. “I shall fetch you home, in case you were not paying any attention again.” He tried to joke. “Well, okay.” Upon reaching your house, just when you get out of the car you saw Zack coming out. “Where have you been?” He asked you harshly. “I… My friend needed help as she was sick so I stayed at her house. Sorry for not informing you beforehand.” John was at the side wondering why you did not tell Zack that you were in the hospital. “Then who’s that guy?” Zack asked. You looked back to see John looking questionably at you. “He, he is my friend’s brother. He just wanted to fetch me home.” You said, not daring to look at John anymore. “Whatever pack the house. It’s messy after 2 days.” “Okay.” You answered meekly as Zack walked off. You were about to head inside your house when, “Who is he Susan? Why don’t you dare to tell him the truth?” John asked, feeling anger upon seeing how Zack treated you and how you were so weak in front of him. “You don’t understand…” “Yes, I don’t understand. So I want you to explain to me.” You turned around to see him in front of you. “I… I…” You struggled to say but your tears are falling. He raised his hand to wipe the tears off your cheek, “I’m sorry. I shouldn’t yell at you. I… just…” You buried your head against his chest, crying all your frustrations out. He just stood there, comforting you.

Both of you were sitting on the bench of the park, enjoying the warm breeze. You knew that John wanted to know what’s going on badly, so you decided to tell him, everything. “I’m married.” You stated simply. “But, there’s no ring on your finger!” He exclaimed, feeling shocked. “It’s a forced marriage actually. But unlike those in dramas, I actually love him. He doesn’t feel the same though. He was unhappy; he said that I’m not worthy to wear the wedding ring. I’ll never have any love from him. He’s out flirting with other women, but I can’t do anything even if I know it. I’m weak and worthless.” You said as your tears were threatening to fall again. “Why don’t you divorce?” He asked softly. “I can’t… Bear to do it. I love him, and I’ll never stop.”

Since then, both of you had been hanging out more often. In the afternoon, you two will hang out in the park. John had been treating you nicely too. He showed you care when no one else were there for you. Till one day, “Do you want to eat ice cream?” John asked you. “Alright!” You said happily. “So that’s where you’ve been.” A voice that makes your hair on your neck stood up. You slowly turned to the voice, and there stood Zack with another woman. You began to stand up and John followed suit. “No, Zack. I… I can explain.” “There’s nothing to explain, you being with another guy when you’re supposed to be at home.” John protectively stood in front of you and said to Zack, “What about you? You’re supposed to be at home with your wife and yet you’re here, with another woman.” “It’s none of your business.” Zack replied rudely while the woman beside him was standing with an arrogant look. “It’s my business now because I love her.” John stated. You stood still out of shock. Zack chuckled without humor, “look. Being a married woman, you have another guy to love you. What’s so good about you? He must be blind.” He said, looking straight at you. You could feel your tears filling your eyes. Zack turned back to walk away with the woman beside him, leaving you and John. “Hey, Susan. You okay? Just ignore that jerk.” John tried to console you.

Zack left to a club and began to drink his heart out. He didn’t know why he is so upset just because that John admitted that he loves you. Was he jealous? No, couldn’t be. He tried to convince himself that he loves Susan not. But it seems that his heart is protesting. Whenever he is with Susan, he would try to be cold and mysterious. He didn’t want to let Susan know more about him. Its better this way, he thought. But, his heart is crying out, I love you to Susan…

After crying, there’s only dead silence between you and John. The sun is setting, you decided to leave. “It’s getting darker, I should go back now.” You said quietly, getting up to leave. “Wait.” John said and you stopped at your track without looking back at him. “I know you must be shock of my confession today. I didn’t want to tell you because I know you still love him…” “Stop! Stop saying… Zack’s right. You should love another girl instead. Why me? I’m worthless, a trash.” You kneeled onto the floor crying. What did you do to deserve such pain? You were sick and tired of everything. You could not hold on much longer anymore. It hurts emotional pains. John went forward to hug you, quietly sobbing with you.

After a long day, you lay down on your bed. Closing your eyes, you remembered how John cried with you. He was always there, never giving you up. Even though you still love Zack, he said that he would wait. Out of the sudden, the door bang. You were startled but you knew Zack was home. You quickly turned to your sides and pretended to sleep. Zack walked till he’s in front of you and caress your face. You lightly shivered from his touch. “You know, Susan… I always loved you, but… I’m a chicken. I don’t dare to admit so I would cover it up by hurting you. I’m sorry.” He said softly and went to shower. After he went off, your face was filled with tears. Why must you tell me everything now? Why is my feeling wavering?

You went off to a hotel to stay as you need to have a clear mind. You were frustrated with all of these dramas going on. Your cellphone is ringing every single time so you decided you switch it off. After two days of no troubles, you were totally replenished. It seems like you had no troubles at all but now, you know you have to make a decision that would change your life.

As John could not contact you, he thought Zack did something to you. He went to your house and knocked. When no one answered, he almost knock the whole door down till, “hey! What are you doing to my house!” Zack who just came back shouted. “Where is Susan?” John demanded. “I don’t know.” Zack shrugged. “I’m here.” You said, appearing behind both of them. “Where did you go to? I call you many times!” John said. “I’m here, because I want to make a decision.” You said with 100 percent of seriousness. Both of them waited for you to start. “Thank you Zack, for letting me love you. I’m happy to be your wife, even though there’s no true love between us.” “No Susan, it’s not true. I love you, but I…” You shake your head. “It’s already too late. John, thank you for being such a good friend, always. I’m sorry, I can’t return the feelings.” You looked at him apologetically. “I hope 3 of us would remain friends as I’m going to start on my new life.”

I loved before and I had been loved. It’s enough for me because I need no dramas already.





srsly, wads wrong wif this zack man? dumbass~

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Dedicated: to cynthia